Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear sir ,

How are you ? As you know i have been working in Restaurant department from last 2 year . And i learnt most of things such as managing inventory , restocking , ordering , and customer handling .Apart from this , i am always keen interesting learn new things because it gives me inner peace while working here.

I want to inform u that now i am want to work in different field and get to know about that ideas so it not only enhance my capabilities but also help me in my career development .

As this is my first job after moving to my home country and it helps me a lot in my entire journey . This company help me with so many opportunity to grow . I always work hard to meet the goal of company criteria . and also take care about all rule and regulation of safety procedure .

I will be waiting for your response .

Best regards ,

Bobby

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task. You mentioned your learning in the restaurant department, explained the benefits of moving to a new department, and expressed your desire to stay with the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention that moving would 'enhance my capabilities,' you could have provided more specific details on how your current skills would transfer or benefit a different department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it occasionally slips into informal phrasing. To improve, ensure that each point is expanded with more depth and specific examples to fully satisfy the requirements of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your progression. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'Apart from this' and 'not only... but also.' However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between the second and third paragraphs feels a bit abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive to ensure a smoother reading experience.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your message clearly. You use some relevant professional terms such as 'managing inventory,' 'restocking,' and 'career development.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'keen interesting learn' (should be 'keen to learn') and 'get to know about that ideas.' To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise collocations and avoid repetitive structures. Expanding your vocabulary to include more sophisticated synonyms for common words will help you express your professional intentions more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'from last 2 year' (should be 'the last two years'), 'i am want to work' (should be 'I want to work'), and 'This company help me' (should be 'has helped me'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of spaces before commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall clarity of your writing. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses will significantly improve your accuracy.

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