Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear manager,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request my transfer from a software developer to a financial advisor in our XYX company.

To commence with, I joined this company as a junior software developer two years ago and got invaluable experience throughout this period. I learned numerous skills such as flutter development, algorithm designs and so on, which not only helped me to excel my skills but also to launch applications on online platforms.

I recently finished a financial management course. Hence, I would like to utilize my knowledge to help the company by increasing the retention rate of clients. Moreover, I learnt how to invest and earn high returns, which can help the company to make a additional revenue.

Although I can find a job in other company, I do not want to leave as I love all the aspects of this company especially colleagues, who are both friendly and supportive.

I would really appreciate it if you grant my request to move to the financial department.

Yours faithfully,

Dhruv Bavadiya

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly explain your current skills, provide a logical reason for how the company would benefit from your move to the financial department, and express your loyalty to the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, you could expand slightly on the specific financial skills you have acquired, perhaps by mentioning how they align with the company's current goals, which would provide more depth to your argument for the transfer.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Although' to link your ideas. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter. To improve, try to vary your linking words further and ensure that the transition between your current role and the new role is smoother. The flow is generally good, but some sentences feel slightly disconnected, which could be improved by using more sophisticated referencing or discourse markers.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'invaluable experience', 'retention rate', and 'financial management'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'excel my skills' (should be 'enhance' or 'develop') and 'make a additional revenue' (should be 'generate additional revenue'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise collocation usage. Expanding your vocabulary to include more professional, business-oriented collocations would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'in other company' (should be 'in another company') and 'if you grant my request' (should be 'if you could grant' or 'if you were to grant' for a more formal tone). Punctuation is generally correct, and the meaning is always clear. To move to a higher band, focus on using more varied complex structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice, and ensure consistent control over articles and prepositions.

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