Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request my transfer from a software developer to a financial advisor within our XYX company.

To begin with, I joined this company as a junior software developer two years ago and gained invaluable experience throughout this period. I learned numerous skills such as flutter development, algorithm design, which not only helped me to improve my skills but also to launch applications on online platforms.

I recently finished a financial management course. Hence, I would like to utilize my knowledge to help the company by increasing the retention rate of clients. Moreover, I learnt how to invest and get a high return, which can help the company to make a additional revenue.

Although I can find a job in another company, I do not want to leave as I love all aspects of this company especially my colleagues, who are both friendly and supportive.

I would really appreciate it if you grant my request to move to the financial department.

Yours faithfully,

Dhruv Bavadiya

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the potential benefits to the company of your transfer, and provide a clear reason for wanting to stay within the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, ensuring the purpose of the letter is clear from the outset. To reach a higher band, you could provide slightly more specific examples of how your financial skills would integrate with the company's current operations to further strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'Although' to connect your ideas effectively. The paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a specific requirement of the task. The progression of ideas is smooth, making the letter easy to follow. To improve, ensure that the transition between your current role and the new department is even more seamless by using more varied linking phrases to show the relationship between your past experience and future potential.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'invaluable experience,' 'retention rate,' and 'financial management.' The language is generally precise and appropriate for a professional context. There are a few minor issues, such as 'make a additional revenue' (should be 'make additional revenue' or 'generate additional revenue'). While the vocabulary is sufficient, incorporating more sophisticated collocations or industry-specific terminology would help elevate the score. Overall, the vocabulary used is accurate and conveys your message clearly without any significant errors that impede meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. Most of your sentences are clear and grammatically sound. There are some minor errors, such as 'request my transfer from a software developer to a financial advisor' (it would be more natural to say 'request a transfer from the software development department to the finance department') and 'make a additional revenue' (article error). However, these errors are infrequent and do not interfere with communication. Your control over punctuation and sentence structure is generally good, supporting a clear and professional tone throughout the letter.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.