Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Mr Sage,

I hope you're well. I am writing this epistle to bring to your attention towards my own career growth.

I have been working for the Francis Home Comfort for the last two years. Although I have gained enough experience in customer service, installation, and layouts of the equipment. This achievement encourage me to shift from a installation department to the sales services.

If I joined in sales team, company will get more deals due to my past experience, which gradually raise the productivity. I had worked as a sales representative in Rogers before I joined this company. I believe my skills and knowledge would be perfect for this position.

During the initial period, Francis helps me a lot by trusting me as a beginner. I have been gaining information since 2020. Furthermore, I have good relations with my colleagues and seniors who always stand in the uncertain situation, which would motivate me to stay connected emotionally. I hope this request would be prioritize at your earliest convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Your faithfully,

Gurdeep Singh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: detailing your current learning, explaining the benefits of a transfer to the company, and expressing your desire to remain with the firm. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention that your transfer would increase productivity, you could have provided more specific details on how your past sales experience would translate into immediate results for the new department. The letter is clear and the purpose is well-defined throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Furthermore', and 'If I joined', which help the flow of information. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between your current experience and the request to move could be more fluid. Overall, the progression of ideas is easy to follow, and the paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different requirements of the task.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'customer service', 'installation', and 'productivity'. However, there are some instances of awkward word choice or unnatural phrasing, such as 'bring to your attention towards' (should be 'bring to your attention') and 'epistle' (which is far too archaic and formal for a business letter). Additionally, 'shift from a installation department' contains a minor article error. Expanding your range of collocations would help improve the naturalness of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'This achievement encourage me' (subject-verb agreement), 'If I joined in sales team' (missing article and preposition error), and 'Francis helps me' (tense inconsistency). Furthermore, 'Your faithfully' is an incorrect closing; it should be 'Yours faithfully'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the overall meaning of your request. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when discussing past and present experiences.

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