Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Subject - Regarding the career development

Dear respected manager,

I hope you are doing well

I am writing to inform you that I am currently working as a employee in your company and this experience is very useful and helpful for my career development. I have completed two years at your business. During these years, I learned numerous skills, which helps me to become a perfect professional worker.

Moreover, I would like to enhances my valuable skills when I move to a different department in the same company. Through these department, I will get a chance to learn new experience and explore more ideas, so, I can not leave this opportunity.

In addition, I meet new colleagues and they learn me how to companies develop in a long-term strategies. I believe that this experience will make more confident, skilled and give me career opportunities. I hope to stay with the company for a long time.

Thank you for your cooperation

Yours sincerely,

Komalpreet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: it mentions skills learned, suggests benefits to the company, and explains the desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is vague, focusing more on your personal gain than the company's strategic advantage. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples of how your current skills would translate into value for a different department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening 'Dear respected manager' is slightly unnatural; 'Dear [Name]' or 'Dear Manager' is preferred.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your intent. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'Therefore' (though 'so' was used instead). However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. Some transitions feel forced, and the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the connection between meeting colleagues and the company's long-term strategy is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used to connect ideas more naturally would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. You rely on basic descriptors like 'useful', 'helpful', and 'perfect'. There are also some collocation errors, such as 'they learn me' (should be 'they teach me') and 'enhances my valuable skills' (should be 'enhance'). To improve, focus on using more precise professional terminology related to career development and corporate environments. While your meaning is clear throughout, the limited range of vocabulary prevents a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'as a employee' (should be 'as an employee'), 'this experience... helps me' (should be 'helped me' or 'has helped me'), and 'Through these department' (should be 'this department'). Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit your score. Focusing on proofreading for basic articles and verb tenses will significantly improve your accuracy.

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