Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Subject - Regarding the career development

Dear respected manager,

I hope you are doing well

I am writing to inform you that I am currently working as an employee in your company and this experience is very useful and helpful for my career development. I have completed two years at your business. During these years, I learned numerous skills, which will help me to become a perfect professional worker.

Moreover, I would like to enhance my valuable skills when I move to a different department in the same company. Through this department, I will get a chance to learn new experience and explore more ideas, so, I cannot leave this opportunity.

In addition, I meet new colleagues and they teach me how to companies develop in a long-term strategy and respond to challenges in a competetive global market place. I believe that this experience will make more confident, skilled and give me career opportunities. I hope to stay with the company for a long time.

Thank you for your cooperation

Yours sincerely,

Komalpreet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience, explain the benefits of a transfer to the company, and express your commitment to staying. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, when discussing the benefits to the company, you mention 'explore more ideas' but do not specify what these ideas are or how they would specifically add value to a new department. To improve, try to provide more concrete examples of the skills you have acquired and how they would be applied in a new role to better persuade your manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'Therefore' to link your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more distinct to separate the different requirements of the task. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between your current experience and the request for a transfer could be smoother to create a more professional tone.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'long-term strategy', and 'competitive global market place'. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'perfect professional worker' which sounds slightly unnatural, and a spelling error ('competetive'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band score. Incorporating more specific business-related collocations would enhance the professional tone of your letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. Most of your sentences are clear and easy to follow. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'I cannot leave this opportunity' (which is slightly confusing in context) and 'make more confident' (missing the object 'me'). Punctuation is generally functional, though some sentences could be refined for better clarity. The errors present do not impede communication, but they do indicate a need for more careful proofreading of verb forms and sentence construction.

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