Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am Roop Sharma, writing this letter to apply for another department in the same organization. As a worked here fr last two years I am familier with my staf members.

In my current position I have learned multiple skills, such as polite communication, time management, and problem solving skills. As a result, I got appriciation from my manager and seniour staf members for my way of work. This appriciation boost my confidence to apply for higher possition.

Here are some key roles by which I provide my self as a vital asset for this organization. As a to join customer service for which I made my communication skills stronger and recently I learned french language which assist me to angage with people who speake native language.

I would not like to leave this company becuase Ii feel my self commited to this organization and want to build my career in this firm till my retirement.

I am looking for your swift response in this matter.

Yours faithfully,

Roop Sharma

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You successfully mention skills learned, explain the benefits of your transfer, and state your commitment to the company. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention learning French, the explanation of how this benefits the company in a new department is slightly vague. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, although the opening is a bit abrupt. To improve, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended with specific examples of how your skills would translate to a new role.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your points. You use some basic cohesive devices such as 'As a result' and 'In my current position'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the connection between ideas is weak, such as the transition into the third paragraph regarding your 'key roles'. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, which slightly impacts the overall progression of your argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, using terms like 'organization', 'commitment', and 'vital asset'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'familier', 'staf', 'appriciation', 'seniour', 'possition', and 'angage'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To reach a higher band, you should focus on accuracy in spelling and attempt to use more precise collocations rather than relying on basic descriptive phrases. Proofreading your work for common spelling mistakes is essential.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of your writing. Examples include 'As a worked here fr last two years' (incorrect verb tense and preposition), 'This appriciation boost' (subject-verb agreement), and 'I feel my self commited' (incorrect reflexive pronoun usage). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the letter. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses, and standard sentence construction. Increasing your control over these fundamental areas will significantly improve your score.

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