Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope this message finds you well. I am Himani Goswami and I am a department manager of grocery department of the store #1078. I am writing this email in order to discuss my career development by enhancing my skills by working in different departments within the firm. I started my journey with this company in 2023 as a cashier. It was a small position but throughout the years I have learned several skills such as customer service, cash management, product returns and claims. In addition while working in grocery I have developed some considerable skills such as maintaining stocks and orderings, merchandising, sales improvement, etc.

Furthermore, if I acquire new skills and competences, it will be beneficial for this company. To illustrate more, if I am trained enough the company can utilize me in several part of the work according to the requirements. Moreover, I am very well aware that how sales are playing vital role in order to get an extra bonus during Christmas or any other seasonal area, the company can use my knowledge for improvements. I have already filled the form for development plan with further information which you may require in future.

I could have tried in different firms in order to grow for my future goals. However, this is my first company here in Canada where I started my journey as a worker and have made good relations with all my colleagues. Moreover, I have invested my precious time and energy in the growth of the firm and thus I refuses to move in another company.

Please feel free to ask for any documents or letter if you require. And I hope you will support me on the decision and encourage me to achieve the goals.

Yours faithfully

Himani

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt effectively. You clearly outlined your current skills, explained the benefits to the company of your transfer, and provided a strong rationale for staying with the firm. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are fully developed; for instance, when mentioning how the company can use your knowledge for improvements, providing a specific example of a process you could improve would have strengthened your argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'To illustrate more', and 'Moreover' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. For example, 'To illustrate more' is a bit unnatural; 'For instance' or 'To elaborate' would be better. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different requirements of the task, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message clearly. You use relevant professional terms like 'merchandising', 'competences', and 'career development'. There are some minor word choice errors, such as 'I refuses to move' (should be 'I refuse') and 'seasonal area' (which is slightly vague). While your vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating more precise collocations would elevate your writing to a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'I am a department manager of grocery department' (missing articles), 'I am very well aware that how sales are playing' (incorrect clause structure), and 'I refuses to move' (subject-verb agreement). Despite these errors, your control of grammar is generally good, and the mistakes do not impede communication. Focusing on article usage and verb tense consistency will help improve your accuracy.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.