Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to request for transfer to another department in this company, as it is crucial for my career growth. Firstly, I have learned a lot of things in last two years as a management team member. I have gained valuable experience on each step. Secondly, i respect the company values how you care for employee's needs and emotions.

If you will transfer me as a HR recruiter, it will not be beneficial only for me, but also for company in many ways. As i am internal applicant, i am aware about company policies and work patterns. I have knowledge of each work deeply, because i worked here and have a degree of HR management which can make be best recruiter to hire best applicant according to job requirements.

I do not want to leave this company due to its core values and work environment which may be i will not get anywhere else. I hope you will consider my application for HR recruiter.

Yours Faithfully,

Manpreet.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention gaining experience, you could have provided a specific example of a skill or project to make your argument more persuasive. Similarly, the benefits to the company are stated but could be expanded with more professional detail. Overall, the response is clear and fulfills the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'If you will transfer me' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used correctly to separate the different points of the letter. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents to improve the overall cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, using terms like 'career growth', 'internal applicant', and 'work patterns'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'I have knowledge of each work deeply' (which should be 'I have a deep understanding of the work') and 'make be best recruiter' (a typo for 'make me the best'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the more sophisticated or precise collocations that would elevate the response to a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'request for transfer' (should be 'request a transfer'), 'in last two years' (should be 'in the last two years'), and 'as i am internal applicant' (missing article 'an'). Additionally, there are some punctuation and capitalization issues, such as the lowercase 'i' used throughout. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the overall communication of your message. To improve, focus on article usage and subject-verb agreement.

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