Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear sir ,

I have heard that the company has recently launches a new clothing brand for kids and you are the operation manager . I would weather there are still some vacancies left so I could join this company as a store manager.

I am currently working in the marketing department as an assistant maneger.one of our major task is to explore different clothing brand thats are newly launched. I think I have enough experience how to communicate with customers'. I also discuss with my department head and he agrees with my plan. your decision will only help me to enrich my future experience and career. Honesty, I do not want to leave the job because of the friendly and welcoming environment. I learn many life skills from this company and this is my first job and I have many unforgettable memories with this company.

please take my request into consideration, and I am looking forward to your favorable reply at an early date.

sincerely yours

xyz

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt, although the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. You mention what you have learned, suggest a benefit to the company, and explain your loyalty. However, the tone is slightly inconsistent for a formal business letter, and the transition between your current role and the request for a new position is a bit abrupt. To improve, ensure that your arguments regarding how the company would benefit from your move are more specific and professional. For example, instead of saying 'your decision will only help me', focus more on how your existing skills would add value to the new department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical progression, moving from the purpose of the letter to your background and finally your reasons for staying. Paragraphing is present, though the paragraphs are quite short and could be better developed. You use some cohesive devices like 'I also' and 'because of', but the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, such as 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', or 'In addition to my current responsibilities'.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message, but there are several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'launches' instead of 'launched', 'weather' instead of 'wonder', and 'maneger' instead of 'manager'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do highlight a lack of precision. To improve, focus on using more professional business terminology and double-check your spelling of common job-related terms. Using more precise collocations would also help elevate your writing to a higher band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'I have heard that the company has recently launches' (verb tense error), 'I have enough experience how to communicate' (missing preposition), and 'I learn many life skills' (tense inconsistency). While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to impact the overall accuracy of your writing. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage to improve your score.

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