Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear sir,

I hope this letter finds you in great spirit. I am writing to inform you about my concerns regarding career development. I hope my prospectus would lead you a positive direction.

My current designation polishes my skills and able me to transform my theoretical knowledge into practical one. It grooms my career with huge endeavors and blesses me with so much power and dignity.

Being the employee of your company from the last two years and receiving remarkable applaud from colleagues, I decided to opt a different department according to innovative adaptabilities. I believe it's the demand of today's fast-paced world to move with the flow. It's just shift of department to challenge my will power and understandability.

However, I don't want to shift my

company due to great alliance with employees and compatibility with the environment. Moreover, it's our moral responsibility to never let the institution down who rank you up in your black days.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope your concentration would place remarkable benefits for the whole company.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points, though the development of ideas is somewhat abstract. You mention learning in your current role, but the description is vague ('polishes my skills'). You suggest benefits to the company, but these are expressed in general terms rather than specific professional contributions. The explanation for staying in the company is clear, though the tone is slightly informal and overly dramatic in places (e.g., 'black days'). To improve, focus on providing concrete examples of your achievements and specific ways your skills would add value to a new department, ensuring the tone remains professional and business-appropriate throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, each addressing a specific requirement of the prompt. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and unnatural transitions. For example, the jump from discussing your current role to the request for a transfer feels abrupt. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'However', the overall progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical. Improving the use of linking phrases to connect your current experience to your future goals would help the letter read more smoothly and professionally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are frequent issues with word choice and collocation that make the writing sound unnatural. Phrases like 'prospectus would lead you a positive direction' and 'innovative adaptabilities' are misused or unclear in this context. Additionally, 'remarkable applaud' is grammatically incorrect; 'praise' or 'recognition' would be more appropriate. While you attempt to use more sophisticated language, the lack of precision in these choices limits your score. Focus on learning standard business collocations to ensure your meaning is conveyed accurately and professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'able me to transform' (should be 'enables me'), 'Being the employee... I decided to opt a different department' (should be 'opt for'), and 'It's just shift of department'. There are also issues with article usage and verb forms. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions in professional contexts.

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