Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writting this letter to present my interest to switch my department in our organization.

As you know I am currently working in sales group and it provides numerous opportunities to inhance the communication skills. Despite of that it helps me to socialize with the people by initiating the conversation which makes imperative impact on my life as a introvert individual.

Along the way it would be beneficial for company as well to have me in finance department due to my education background. As per my academic qualification it would be easier for me to manage the worksheets.

I am proceeding my career in the same company I have worked for the company from last two years as a loyal employee so I want to be a part of its success. I request you to give think about my decision.

Kind regards,

Navneet.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly mention the skills learned in sales, explain the benefit of your transfer to finance, and express your commitment to the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is quite brief and could be expanded with more specific details regarding your academic background or potential contributions. While the tone is appropriate for a formal letter, the overall development of the arguments is basic, which prevents a higher score. To improve, try to elaborate further on your points to provide a more persuasive and comprehensive case to your manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, 'Despite of that' is an incorrect usage of a cohesive phrase, and the transition between the second and third paragraphs feels abrupt. While the paragraphing is present, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is clearer. The overall arrangement is coherent, but the lack of sophisticated transitions limits the score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'organization', 'imperative impact', and 'academic qualification'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and spelling errors, such as 'writting' instead of 'writing', 'inhance' instead of 'enhance', and 'a introvert' instead of 'an introvert'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider range of precise vocabulary. To reach a higher band, focus on using more natural collocations and ensuring correct spelling of common professional terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'I am proceeding my career' (which is unnatural), 'give think about' (which is grammatically incorrect), and 'from last two years' (should be 'for the last two years'). These errors occur throughout the text. While you attempt to use complex structures, the control over them is inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound.

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