Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

Here, Harjas Singh is writing this letter . Well, I was working in your company from last 2 years and now I am customer care and advertisement manager . I personally like my job as a manager in your company . I have learned many things such as communication , building plans , creating advance methods , solving problems ,etc. But, I looking for new department because I want to learn more skills and upgrade myself . I would like to move in Dispatch department , where I will improve my computer skills and communication with drivers of our company . I will very happy to see me as a dispatch manager in next 6 months . I will use my creative methods to increase our company dispatch and I will generate huge revenue throughout a year by developing teamwork in our company drivers . I personally not want to leave this company because here ,I get friendly atmosphere as well as I have my 4 childhood friends which support me . I wish you understand my feelings .

thanks.

Yours Faithfully,

Harjas Singh .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all three bullet points of the prompt: it mentions skills learned, suggests benefits for the company, and explains the desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move to the dispatch department is quite vague, focusing more on personal goals than organizational impact. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples of how your current skills would translate to the new role and offer a more professional justification for the transfer. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it occasionally slips into a slightly informal register.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical progression, moving from your current role to your future aspirations and reasons for staying. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, the frequent use of 'I' at the start of sentences makes the flow feel a bit stilted. Paragraphing is also missing; the entire letter is written as a single block of text. To improve, you should use clear paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, the body points, and the conclusion. Additionally, try to use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in addition') to connect your ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher score. You use basic terms like 'learned many things' and 'upgrade myself', which are functional but not sophisticated. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'creating advance methods' and 'increase our company dispatch'. While the meaning is clear, the range of vocabulary is limited. To improve, focus on using more professional terminology related to business and career development, and ensure that your word choices are natural and contextually appropriate for a formal request to a manager.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the quality of the writing. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'move in Dispatch department'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'I was working... from last 2 years'), and punctuation errors, such as unnecessary spaces before commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage for duration (e.g., 'I have been working for the past two years'), and standard punctuation rules.

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