Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Alex,

I am writing to express my interest in transfering to a diffrent deparment within the same company. Having worked as customers service for 2 years i gained lots of experinces and its also develop my personal skills.

As i am familair with the workplace and i already have customer service experience it would be an asset for the company. Futheremore, for my carrer development i want to join HR deperment now.

your feedback and my collgaues support helped my to shaped and laerned lots of valueable things. But now i want to join other department as feel i have that skills for that .

It would be great if you can tell me any suitable postion for me .

I look forword hearing from you.

You faithful,

Anita hathwal

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: mentioning learning experiences, suggesting company benefits, and explaining the desire to stay. However, the response is significantly under the 150-word minimum, which limits the development of ideas. The points are mentioned but lack sufficient detail or professional elaboration. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is quite vague, stating only that you would be an 'asset' without explaining how your specific skills would translate to the HR department. To improve, you should expand on your achievements and provide more concrete reasons for your career move to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a more professional tone.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into short paragraphs, which is appropriate for a formal request. However, the logical progression is hindered by the brevity of the sentences and the lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. While some transitions like 'Furthermore' are used, the flow between ideas feels somewhat disjointed. The paragraphing is present but the internal structure of the paragraphs is weak due to the limited development of ideas. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main purpose of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally functional but limited, and there are several spelling errors that distract the reader, such as 'transfering' (transferring), 'diffrent' (different), 'deparment' (department), 'experinces' (experiences), 'carrer' (career), 'collgaues' (colleagues), and 'laerned' (learned). These errors are frequent and suggest a lack of proofreading. The range of vocabulary is basic, relying on simple descriptors. To reach a higher band, you should focus on accurate spelling and incorporate more professional, business-appropriate terminology to convey your request more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. Examples include 'worked as customers service' (should be 'in customer service'), 'its also develop' (should be 'it has also developed'), and 'helped my to shaped' (should be 'helped me to shape'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around punctuation marks. The range of structures is limited, and the errors are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses will help improve your accuracy significantly.

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