Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Blake,

I am writing this letter to you, because I saw a job posting in shipping department of our company that I am interested in.

Right now as a team member of packing department for two years I learned a lot about packing and shipping department both. I gained expereince in driving forklift and other heavy equipment as well as the teamwork shipping needed.

I believe that I meet all requirements that this job need. I will use all my previous experince in this department. i do not need training in some work such as forklift driving.

I want to keep working in this company but i want to change my job because i think shipping department is better for me because I like the job duties of a shipper. The reason of staying in this company is that It has best management and human resource team. I am looking forward for you response.

Best Regards

Karan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: it mentions learning experiences in the current role, suggests benefits for the company, and explains the desire to remain with the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is quite brief and lacks specific detail. To achieve a higher band, you should expand on how your existing skills, such as forklift operation, would specifically add value to the shipping department's efficiency. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though it could be slightly more professional in its phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic and sometimes repetitive. For example, you frequently start sentences with 'I' or 'I want'. Using a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases—such as 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' or 'Given my background in...'—would improve the flow between your ideas. Additionally, the paragraphing is a bit sparse; separating the introduction, the body of your argument, and the closing statement more clearly would enhance the overall structure of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite simple. You rely on basic terms like 'job', 'work', and 'good'. While you successfully use some industry-specific terms like 'forklift' and 'heavy equipment', there is a lack of more sophisticated or precise language that would demonstrate a higher level of proficiency. There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'shipping department needed' (which should be 'that the shipping department requires'). Expanding your vocabulary to include more professional collocations would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in shipping department' should be 'in the shipping department'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'that this job need' should be 'that this job needs'), and punctuation errors, such as the inconsistent use of capitalization for 'i'. While these errors do not prevent the message from being understood, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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