Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Patel,

I hope you are doing well. My name is Ayushi Gadhavi and I work as a sales Manager at Encore. The purpose for writting you this letter is that I would like to discuss my career development within the company.

As you might have aware of I have been with this company from last 4 years and I have learned everything from here. I joined the company as an intern and now I am a manager here so I know each and every steps. I wish to get transfered to HR Department as it is crucial for my career growth. Additionally, I have very good people's skill and my leadership skills are also good. Due to this I would be a perfect for HR Manager role.

Moreover, Encore means a-lot to me I have seen this company growing from last 4 years and it is my pleasure that I got opportunity to work here. Because of this place is very positive. Because of all these reasons I do not wish to leave the company.

Thank you for your time. I hope to hear from you at your earliest convenience.

Best regards,

Ayushi.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. For example, when explaining why the company would benefit from your move, you mention your 'people's skill' and 'leadership skills' but do not specifically link these to the HR department's functions. To reach a higher band, ensure your ideas are more fully extended with specific examples or professional reasoning. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, and the purpose is clear from the beginning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Because of this', which help the reader follow your argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, particularly the use of 'Because of this' at the start of consecutive sentences in the final paragraph. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your message, such as 'career development', 'intern', and 'opportunity'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'people's skill' (should be 'people skills') and 'I know each and every steps' (should be 'every step'). There is also a spelling error ('writting') and some awkward phrasing like 'As you might have aware of'. To improve, focus on using more precise professional terminology and checking for common collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'I have been with this company from last 4 years' (should be 'for the last 4 years') and 'I would be a perfect for HR Manager role' (missing 'the'). Additionally, there are punctuation and capitalization issues, such as 'HR Department' (should be lowercase) and 'a-lot'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do demonstrate a need for more careful proofreading and control over basic grammar rules.

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