Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear sir

I am working as a cashier at your store from last two years. i am doing my best at my job and trying to boost our sales by helping customers. But now I want you to promote and change my department from cashier to merchandising. As I am trying to focus on merchandising from last few months so that I can increase my speed there. Now I am so confident that I can work really fast there and get more stock done which will increase our sales apparently. I can bring more traffic to our store as there are many customer those have good bond with me.

Also, this change in department will help me in wage increase and learning more in managing the store so that I can go further up to manager position. I don not want to leave this company as it is one of the best company of our country.

With Regards

Harmanpreet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience as a cashier, suggest how the company would benefit from your move to merchandising, and explain your loyalty to the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company benefits is a bit repetitive, focusing primarily on 'speed' and 'sales' without detailing specific skills you have acquired. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended with specific examples of your professional contributions or transferable skills.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic and sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition 'Also, this change...' is a simple way to start a paragraph. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' or 'In addition to this'). Additionally, ensure that your paragraphing is consistent; the current structure is functional but could be more sophisticated in its flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your intentions clearly. You use some relevant professional terms like 'merchandising' and 'stock'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'bring more traffic to our store' (which usually refers to footfall or customers) and 'those have good bond with me' (which should be 'who have a good rapport with me'). Expanding your range of professional vocabulary and focusing on natural collocations would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'I am working... from last two years' (should be 'have been working... for the last two years'), 'one of the best company' (should be 'companies'), and 'I don not want' (a typo). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of tense usage and pluralization rules.

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