Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear John,

I am writing this letter to request you about my promotion in another department. As everyone know in the company that I have spent five years in one sector, thus it is crucial to upgrade my job for better opportunities.

First of all, I am so pleased to mention that I have gotten practical experience about editing, graphing in my current role, which has given me a lot of confidence.

Furthermore, I realize that if I will get job as a supervisor in another department of project management then it would lead to company at successful position because right now, I have experience of managing project of 5 years.

In addition, even though some another companies are hiring for management positions, still I really want to work this company as a trustworthy employee.

I hope you will consider my request and will reply me back.

Best regards,

Harpreet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points: skills learned, benefits to the company, and reasons for staying. However, the development is somewhat limited. The mention of 'editing, graphing' is brief, and the explanation of how the company would benefit is slightly repetitive and lacks specific detail. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal request, though the opening sentence is slightly awkward ('request you about my promotion'). To reach a higher band, you should expand on how your specific skills would add value to the new department and provide a more professional justification for the move.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition' to link your ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'As everyone know in the company that I have spent five years'. The transition between the points is clear, but the overall structure could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph flows more naturally into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. You rely on common words like 'job', 'work', and 'good'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'request you about my promotion' (you are requesting a transfer, not a promotion) and 'lead to company at successful position'. To improve, try to use more precise business terminology and collocations. For example, instead of 'upgrade my job', you could use 'seek a professional challenge' or 'pursue internal career progression'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('As everyone know'), incorrect verb forms ('if I will get job'), and missing articles ('work this company'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the use of articles, prepositions, and conditional structures.

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