Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir,

i am writing about the satisfaction of current job because of the number of future benefits. Actually, i am working in KFC which is branded company. I am position of working as customer service. Therefore, i get an opportunities to learn crucial skills such as, problem solving, teamwork and communication which is more beneficial for my bright future. Now i have a keen interest to take assistant position that is why i do hard work to achieve it in turn of which it not only raise my income but also gain experience which is used in future for getting participant in any competitions.

So, i am writing letter to manager if any assistant vacancy free , he let me know so i can apply for it. because i want not leave this job because i have keen interest in this field. So i will wait for your further message so i can ready important documents for applying further position.

Best regards,

Gagan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points, though the development of ideas is somewhat limited. You mention skills learned in your current role and express a desire to stay with the company, which is positive. However, the suggestion regarding how the company would benefit from your move is underdeveloped; you focus more on personal gain (income and experience) rather than how the company would profit from your transfer. To improve, ensure you explicitly link your skills to the needs of the new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the structure could be more professional.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your intent. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the transition 'Therefore' is used in a way that does not logically follow the previous sentence. Additionally, the flow between ideas is sometimes abrupt, making the progression feel slightly disjointed. Using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in addition') would help create a smoother, more professional flow throughout the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'do hard work' and 'keen interest', which are repetitive. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'getting participant in any competitions'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated, topic-specific vocabulary related to professional development and workplace environments. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you express your ideas with greater clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding article usage ('in position of working'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For instance, 'i want not leave this job' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'I do not wish to leave'. While your meaning is generally clear, these errors are noticeable and occur frequently. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically the placement of auxiliary verbs and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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