Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr Smith,

I am writing this letter to request you to promote my position in your company.

As you know i have been currently working as a QA chemist and this position learns so much thing like how to be calibrate potentiometer daily, Need to maintain record of all the batches.The most intresting i learn is Gas chromatography in which i can check the purity of product daily.

I had recently completed one logistics certificate course and i think that if you should promote me to purchase supervisior i can handle all the import raw materials in an accurate manner that there should be no signs of error in customs and duties whcih we recently had by one of our purchase manager.

Apotex i not only a good bonding for me but also, i believe a growth in this company is very good. I had started as a QA assistant and now in two year i have become an head of this department. Apart from that i think incentives is good and the working environement is too friendly.

I will be greatly appreciate that you consider my promotion offer in your company.

Yours sincerely,

Om Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the tone is inconsistent with a formal request for a transfer. You use the word 'promote' repeatedly, which suggests a desire for a higher rank rather than a lateral move to a different department. The explanation of how the company would benefit is a bit vague, focusing more on your personal qualifications than the specific needs of the new department. To improve, ensure your language reflects a professional request for a departmental transfer rather than a promotion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, each addressing a specific requirement of the task. You use basic transition markers like 'Apart from that' and 'As you know', which help the flow. However, the connection between ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more refined. For instance, the transition between your current skills and the request for a new position feels abrupt. Using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as 'consequently' or 'furthermore', would help the text flow more naturally and improve the overall structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'this position learns so much thing' and 'Apotex i not only a good bonding'. You also struggle with collocations, such as 'purchase supervisior' (should be 'purchasing supervisor') and 'incentives is good'. While your meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and frequent errors in word choice prevent a higher score. Focusing on professional terminology and correct word forms will significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the letter, including subject-verb agreement issues ('incentives is good'), article misuse, and tense inconsistencies ('I had recently completed'). Sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when you attempt more complex constructions, such as 'I will be greatly appreciate that you consider'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. To improve, you should focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb forms and articles, as these currently impede the professional quality of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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