Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Pauline,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this latter to inform you about my career development from my current position to another department. However, I have started working here since January 2024. Moreover, it's been great learning experience for me to working in different roles.

To begin with, In the July 2024, I have started working as a personal support worker. However, I have learned providing care to the older adults in their day to day life. Overall , it has been an amazing role for me. Furthermore, I would like to take a transfer in administration role as it is related to my health care administration course. Due to my transition in this department, it would be helpful to the organization for their growth. In addition to that, this company provides all the benefits including health care. Because of that. I would not have any future plan to leave this company. Let me know if you have any concern about my transfer. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Your's sincerely,

Riddhi Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits of a transfer, and explaining your desire to stay with the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that a transfer would be 'helpful to the organization for their growth,' you do not explain how your specific skills or the administration course would concretely benefit the new department. To reach a higher band, ensure that your reasons are more fully supported with specific details or examples rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, and you use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition to that.' However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward transitions and some mechanical use of linking words. For example, the sentence 'Because of that. I would not have any future plan' uses a full stop where a comma is needed, which breaks the flow. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the transition between your current role and the desire for a transfer. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will enhance the overall readability.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development,' 'organization,' and 'consideration.' However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and unnatural phrasing, such as 'I have started working here since January 2024' (should be 'I have been working here since...') and 'take a transfer in administration role' (should be 'transfer to an administrative role'). These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a need for more precise control over collocations and professional terminology to move into the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include tense usage, such as 'In the July 2024, I have started working' (should be 'In July 2024, I started working'), and article usage, such as 'in administration role' (should be 'in an administrative role'). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the sentence fragment 'Because of that.' and the incorrect apostrophe in 'Your's sincerely.' While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to limit your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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