Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter for raise a perposal for my transfer to marketing departmant from management section.

As I am working as Assistant Manager in management sector of our company from last 2 two years. I learn lot of skills and tricks to handle various difficult situation in company. But now I fel that I can do more better and prove myself in better way.

I want you to transfer me to another departmant for a better outcome and it will also provides opportunity to get promotion and earn more while working within your company. I am quite confident that with my skills and qualification I will thrive in marketing sector which results as more growth of company. I am willing to work with you because my structure and working environment is really good in company. I hope you will consider my application for promotion in another departmant.

Looking forward for positive response.

Yours faithfully,

Gurpreet Singh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mentioned your current learning, the benefits to the company of your transfer, and your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, when discussing what you have learned, you use vague phrases like 'skills and tricks' rather than specific professional competencies. Similarly, the explanation of how the company would benefit is quite general. To improve, try to provide more concrete examples of your achievements or specific ways your skills would translate to the marketing department. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, and the purpose is clear throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate the different requirements of the task. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. You rely heavily on simple transitions, and some sentences feel disconnected. For instance, the transition between your current role and your desire to move could be smoother with better linking words. While the overall progression is clear, the flow between ideas could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect your sentences and paragraphs more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'perposal' (proposal), 'departmant' (department), and 'fel' (feel). Additionally, some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'tricks' in a professional context. You rely on basic vocabulary to express your ideas. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise professional terminology and ensuring accurate spelling. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated collocations related to career development and business operations would significantly enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'I am writing this letter for raise a perposal' (should be 'to propose'), 'from last 2 two years' (redundant and incorrect preposition), and 'my structure and working environment is' (subject-verb agreement). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions. Proofreading for these common errors before finishing your writing is highly recommended.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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