Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear David,

I hope you are doing well.

I would like to request to move my current job to another department as I am interested to work in Marketing department.

I have been working in this company for last two years and I have learned so many things such as how to deal with customers, how to satisfy them by solving their issues and improve my communication skills as well.

As I have a diploma in Marketing research so I would like to continue my career in this field and want to imply my skills and knowledge on this job. I believe this would be a perfect move for my further career development.

Although, I want to move to another department it does not mean I have no longer interest in this company, this company provides me financially and emotionally support whenever I really need. I would like to see myself on better position in upcoming years. I hope I will get this job as soon as possible.

Look forward to your reply.

Regards,

Rimz

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits of your transfer to the Marketing department, and express your loyalty to the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat basic. For instance, while you mention your diploma in Marketing, you could have elaborated more on how your specific skills would directly benefit the company's current projects. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, and the purpose of the communication is clear throughout. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended with specific examples or professional justifications.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the task. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For example, the transition 'Although, I want to move...' is slightly awkward and could be improved with better punctuation or a more sophisticated linking phrase. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'this company provides me financially and emotionally support,' where the flow is interrupted by grammatical errors. Improving the variety of linking words would help the ideas progress more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development,' 'Marketing research,' and 'communication skills.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'request to move my current job' (should be 'request a transfer') and 'imply my skills' (should be 'apply my skills'). The phrase 'financially and emotionally support' is also grammatically incorrect; it should be 'financial and emotional support.' To improve, focus on using collocations correctly and expanding your range of professional vocabulary to sound more natural and precise in a business context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally hinder the flow. Common issues include article usage ('in Marketing department' should be 'in the Marketing department'), verb forms ('I have no longer interest' should be 'I no longer have an interest'), and word order. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall accuracy. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions in professional writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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