Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr. Smith

I am writing to inform you that I received an email from Mr. John yesterday regarding my transfer from retirement home to LTC. I am glad for this opportunity and I would like to thank you for all your efforts and encouragement given by you during my interviews.

I have been considering this position for some time because I really want to work on the critical floor and learn more. Apart from this, I am happy that company will get a chance to hire more young employees with new ideas and energy. In addition, the junior employees will also get a chance to apply some higher positions and show their skills with in the organization.

Honestly, I do not want to leave my colleagues as I had spent almost a year with them with lots of beautiful memories.

I would be very grateful if you could please issue me the transferring letter at your convenience.

Your Sincerely

Shikha

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task requirements, but the content is somewhat misaligned with the prompt. You were asked to write to your manager to request a move to a different department, explaining what you have learned and why you want to stay in the company. Instead, your letter reads as if you have already been granted a transfer ('I received an email... regarding my transfer'). Consequently, you failed to effectively argue for the move or explain the benefits to the company from your perspective as an applicant. The ideas regarding junior employees are somewhat irrelevant to your own career development. To improve, ensure your content directly answers the specific prompt instructions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, and the purpose of each section is generally clear. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Apart from this' and 'In addition' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is slightly disjointed because the narrative focus shifts from receiving a transfer to discussing company hiring policies, then back to personal feelings about colleagues. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using more sophisticated transitions to connect your professional goals with your desire to remain in the company.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your message clearly. You use some relevant professional terms like 'position', 'organization', and 'transferring letter'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'retirement home to LTC' (which lacks context) and 'apply some higher positions' (should be 'apply for'). The range is somewhat limited, relying on fairly simple descriptive language. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise professional vocabulary related to career development and workplace dynamics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'encouragement given by you during my interviews' (passive voice is slightly clunky here), 'company will get a chance' (missing article 'the'), and 'Your Sincerely' (incorrect form; should be 'Yours sincerely'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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