Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to request to get a promotion in the different department of our company.

It has been more than two years since I have been part of this organization. Since then I have learned plethora of things, whether it is developing new skills or learning to cope and maximize productivity in a fastpaced environment. I have been able to do it all.

As for now, my current position is of administrative assistance and with my skills and deligency I have been proving how much capable I am to grow within the company. Despite being an administrative assistant, I have contributed in most of the crucial planning and ideas formation process. As a creative person I would like to be the part of marketing team where my skills could have maximum utilization.

Furthermore, I have always been a loyal employee who always wished the best for this facility. Thus, that is the main reason why I am seeking an upgrade within this organization. My main goal is to grow with the company.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your prompt response.

Yours Faithfully,

Amy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, suggest how the company would benefit from your move to marketing, and explain your loyalty to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention contributing to 'crucial planning,' providing a specific example of a project or a particular skill set would have made your argument more persuasive. The purpose of the letter is clear throughout, and the response effectively communicates your intentions to your manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is well-organized with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a clear focus, moving from your current experience to your future goals. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'Thus,' and 'As for now' to link your thoughts. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter, and the opening and closing salutations are correct. Overall, the information is easy to follow, and the structure supports the message effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'organization,' 'productivity,' and 'utilization.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'request to get a promotion' (better: 'request a transfer') and 'deligency' (spelling error for 'diligence'). You also use 'plethora of things,' which is slightly informal for this context. While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some choices are slightly imprecise. However, the meaning is always clear, and the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your professional intentions without causing any confusion for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'I have learned plethora of things' (missing article) and 'I would like to be the part of marketing team' (unnecessary article). Additionally, 'fastpaced' should be hyphenated as 'fast-paced.' Despite these errors, your meaning is consistently clear, and the mistakes do not impede communication. You show a good command of verb tenses, particularly the present perfect to describe your tenure at the company. With more attention to articles and minor punctuation, your accuracy would improve significantly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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