Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear manager,

I am writing this letter to express my interest towards the another position in the department. As you know , i have been registered Early childhood educator on float position since previous two years. i am willing to show my interest towards the permanent classroom position which recently opened. During the period of this position, i gained enough experience to handle the classroom environment, including cooperative teamwork and meaning children parent communications. MY current position allowed me to embrace the opportunity of getting to know the children, building trustworthy relationship and acknowledge about ELECT.

As the new position not only depicts a more benefits for me but also proves itself to be a greater benefits for the company. Alongwith being having a good connection with parents and my coworkers i have a experience which increases company reputation of having a qualified employee for the children care . Regardless this i have food handlers which allow me a professional entry in the meal prep for the children the the daycare chef is away. This company has a great popularity in society with friendly environment that make me not want to leave the company. I wish you will consider my application for this current position.

your sincerely,

Simranpreet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned (classroom management, teamwork, parent communication), explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and express your desire to remain with the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how the company benefits from your move could be more specific and professional. Overall, the response is relevant and fulfills the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'As the new position' and 'Regardless this', to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Regardless this', which is not a standard phrase. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to create a more natural progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different points requested in the prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'classroom environment', 'cooperative teamwork', and 'professional entry'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'meaning children parent communications' (likely meaning 'meaningful communication with parents') and 'acknowledge about ELECT'. Additionally, there are some minor errors in phrasing, such as 'depicts a more benefits'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate that your control over more complex vocabulary is still developing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with articles ('the daycare chef'), subject-verb agreement ('make me not want'), and preposition usage ('interest towards the another position'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and the capitalization of 'i'. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the writing from reaching a higher band score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.