Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mary,

I am writing this letter to express my interest and request a transfer to another department within the same company.

I have been working in the production department for the last two years, where I not only gained valuable experience but also improved my professional skills, such as teamwork, critical thinking, and leadership.

If I am given a chance to work in the welding department, where the parts are usually welded together and sent to the production process. There, I will be able to minimise the errors directly at the starting point, and the production department will receive excellent quality products, which will help the staff members to maintain an efficient workflow.

Since the company is profitable and routinely offers better opportunities to its staff, I would like to work here in the long term and acquire valuable experience. In addition, the company often offers wage increments and bonuses; I do not wish to leave the company.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Sujal Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience in the production department, explain the benefits of moving to the welding department, and provide reasons for wanting to stay with the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are fully extended; for instance, while you mention the benefits of moving to the welding department, you could further elaborate on how your specific skills would contribute to that team's success. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets all task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition' and 'Since', which help connect your ideas. However, to improve, you could use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother. For example, the third paragraph starts with a sentence fragment ('If I am given a chance...'), which disrupts the flow. Improving sentence structure will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to communicate your ideas clearly. Phrases like 'valuable experience', 'professional skills', and 'maintain an efficient workflow' are used correctly and fit the context of a professional letter. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise or less common collocations. For example, instead of 'improve my professional skills', you could use 'honed my professional competencies'. Overall, your vocabulary is adequate and appropriate for the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While most of your writing is accurate, there are some grammatical issues. Specifically, the sentence starting with 'If I am given a chance...' is a dependent clause that lacks a main clause, making it a fragment. Additionally, the sentence 'There, I will be able to...' is slightly awkward in its connection to the previous thought. You have good control over basic grammar, but to reach a higher band, you should focus on ensuring that all complex sentences are complete and grammatically sound. Punctuation is generally used correctly throughout the letter.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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