Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to request for a better position in finance department.

I am currently working with operation department where I learned how to record transactions and handle daily transactions related to cash and banks using software. I got to know that company is hiring for bookkeeping role in finance department and it would be great if you consider me for role as I already learned the software company is using and how companies daily operations work.

Moreover, I am working in this company for 2 years and I am well versed with staff and companies policies and comfortable with working environment that's why I am looking for a better role in this company only. Further it helps me in development of my career and motivates me to learn more while working in the comfortable environment.

It really appreciate if you consider my request. Hope to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully

Ekta

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide reasons for wanting to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat basic. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is limited to your familiarity with the software. To reach a higher band, you could expand on how your operational experience would provide a unique perspective to the finance department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening and closing could be more professional.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover' and 'Further' to link your points. However, the transition between ideas is occasionally mechanical, and some sentences feel slightly disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the structure could be improved by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. The use of referencing is generally clear, though the flow could be smoother with a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your arguments more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'transactions', 'bookkeeping', and 'well versed'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. There are minor errors in word choice, such as 'request for a better position' (request a position) and 'It really appreciate' (I would really appreciate). To improve, try to incorporate more precise professional collocations and avoid basic phrasing. The current range is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it does not show the flexibility or precision expected at the band 7 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that slightly distract the reader. Examples include 'I am working in this company for 2 years' (I have been working), 'companies policies' (company's policies), and 'It really appreciate' (I would really appreciate). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms. To improve, focus on consistent verb tense usage—specifically the present perfect for duration—and ensure correct subject-verb agreement and punctuation throughout your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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