Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I have been working in the marketing department in the company for 2 years .However, now I feel it is essential for my career development to change my current department in the company.

Moreover, I have learn despites of things from my current job like, communication skills, product values and so on. In fact in this 2 years I met so many people regarding work and I learned various things from each person. Also, I learned few things of the innovation department as I want to move in this department.

Furthermore, my knowledge and skills would benefit to the company if they transfer me in the different department. Because I do not want to stuck in one position for the years in the company. I will not leave the company because company's atmosphere and work culture is good and company has provided lots of things in terms of salary, developing skills and holiday packages. please consider my application to join new department in the same company.

Thank for your time.

Jeel Patel

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter covers all three bullet points: it mentions skills learned, suggests benefits to the company, and explains the desire to stay. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is vague, stating only that 'my knowledge and skills would benefit' without specifying how. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it lacks the professional polish expected at higher bands. To improve, you should provide more specific examples of your achievements and clearly articulate the value you would bring to the new department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For example, 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. The transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as 'despites of things', which makes the connection between ideas difficult to follow. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a smoother, more professional flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several awkward collocations and errors, such as 'learn despites of things' (likely meaning 'learned many things') and 'do not want to stuck'. The phrase 'provided lots of things' is too informal and vague for a business letter. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise professional terminology, such as 'gained extensive experience' instead of 'learned many things', and ensure that word choices are appropriate for a formal workplace context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('my knowledge and skills would benefit to the company'), incorrect preposition usage, and tense errors ('I have learn'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common verb form errors will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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