Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Senior Manager,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and in good spirits. I am writing this letter to enquire about the recent job posting regarding Dock Supervisor for morning shift.

I have been working with this organization from last two years and I truly enjoy working as a load planner. I have learnt several useful practical skills during these past two years such as teamwork, time management, decision-making, resilience and so forth.

I would greatly appreciate if you could promote me to dock supervisor as I believe that I would be a perfect suit for this position. Since I have recently received dock training few month ago where I learnt many beneficial skills to operate dock effectively. I can also manage and train other employees to plan loads in a timely manner. Apart from this, I have 2 years of work experience as a dock operator from my previous company which could enhance my chance to get this position.

I would like to grow in the same organization rather than trying for any other company because Its been 2 years I am working here and I have become fluent using our in-house software and I can effectively manage all administration tasks.

I am looking forward to your response.

Yours faithfully,

Navjot Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outlined your current skills, explained the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provided a rationale for staying within the organization. However, the tone is slightly inconsistent; you refer to the request as a 'promotion' to a 'Dock Supervisor' role, whereas the prompt asks for a move to a 'different department'. While this is a minor misinterpretation, the overall purpose of the letter remains clear and the ideas are well-developed and relevant to the context of career development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Apart from this' and 'rather than', though the flow could be improved with a wider variety of linking words. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate your skills, the benefits of the move, and your reasons for staying. The progression of ideas is smooth and easy to follow throughout the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, using terms like 'resilience', 'enquire', and 'organization'. There are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'perfect suit' (should be 'perfect fit') and 'fluent using' (should be 'fluent in using'). Additionally, 'from last two years' is a common error; 'for the last two years' would be more accurate. While you successfully convey your meaning, the vocabulary is functional rather than sophisticated, which limits the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'I have learnt... few month ago' (tense inconsistency), 'Its been 2 years I am working here' (missing 'that' and incorrect punctuation), and 'enhance my chance' (should be 'chances'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses. Your control of punctuation is generally acceptable, though some sentence boundaries could be more clearly defined.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.