Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter regarding a promotion to develop my career in your company.

I have been working at Walmart as an assistant supervisor in the inventory department for two years, and I have learned many new skills there. I always try to help other employees learn new strategies so they can build their careers. Now I want to develop my career in another department so I can give my best to the company; it also benefits the company because I can learn cross-training for other departments. Sometimes other department employee is on leave, so I can work in that department to make work easier for the company.

Actually i love to work there because the environment of the company is very friendly, and every employee feels valu

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses all three bullet points, but the development is insufficient. You mention what you have learned and why you want to stay, but the explanation of how the company benefits is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. Crucially, the letter is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence, and fails to meet the 150-word minimum requirement. This significantly impacts the task completion, as the letter lacks a proper closing and the required length to fully develop the ideas. To improve, ensure you expand on your points with specific examples and always include a formal sign-off.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter follows a basic logical progression, starting with the purpose of the letter and moving through the required points. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and somewhat mechanical. For example, the transition between the benefits to the company and the reason for staying is abrupt. The paragraphing is also problematic; the response is essentially one block of text, which makes it difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' would help create a smoother flow between your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is functional but basic. You use repetitive phrasing, such as 'develop my career' and 'work in that department'. While the language is clear enough to convey your message, there is a lack of variety and precision. Words like 'valu' (which appears to be a spelling error for 'valued') and the general simplicity of the word choices limit the score. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more professional, topic-specific vocabulary related to career development and corporate environments, and ensure you check for spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable errors. For instance, 'other department employee is on leave' should be 'employees from other departments are on leave'. There are also issues with punctuation and capitalization, such as the lowercase 'i' in 'Actually i love'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall quality. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your sentences are grammatically complete, especially when using complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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