Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Mr Brown,

- I hope you are doing well. I am writing to express my intreset in different department within our company.

- Having worked at area manager in this department I have been various skills such as coprative skill, team leadership skill and other essetional skill. Apart from that, I believe that this opportunity would be helps me to improve my personal growth.

- As per my opinion, my personal intrest in accounting even though my educational background also from finacial sector. This not only big advantage for my personal growth but also it allowes me to open more opportunity company's profit.

- Although I am seeking a new challengen, my intension is not leaving this company. I love to work here with this supportive team and potive relationshipe with collegues. Additionally, I am very confident that countinuing my career within this organization for both comany long-term goal and my career.

Thank you for considering my request.

Best wishes,

Tauhid ghair

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention gaining 'various skills', you do not elaborate on how these specific skills would translate to the accounting department. The letter follows a formal structure, but the tone is occasionally inconsistent due to the fragmented bullet-point style used in the opening. To improve, ensure your ideas are fully expanded into cohesive paragraphs rather than brief, disconnected points, and provide more specific examples of your contributions to the company.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical sections, which helps the reader follow your intent. However, the use of bullet points at the start of each paragraph is unconventional for a formal letter and disrupts the flow. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'Apart from that' and 'Additionally', but they are sometimes used mechanically or with grammatical errors. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs feels abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated linking words and ensure your paragraphing is standard for formal correspondence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your message, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'intreset', 'coprative', 'essetional', 'finacial', 'intension', 'potive', 'collegues'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary related to business and career development, but the range is limited. To improve, you should focus on accuracy in spelling and try to incorporate more precise collocations. For example, instead of 'open more opportunity', use 'create new opportunities'. Expanding your range of professional vocabulary will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this opportunity would be helps me'), missing articles, and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'worked at area manager' instead of 'worked as an area manager'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. To improve, pay closer attention to verb tenses and basic sentence construction. Proofreading for common errors like missing 'a' or 'the' and ensuring subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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