Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
- say what you have learned in your present job
- suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
- explain why you do not wish to leave the company
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ....................................,
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Dear Mr. john,
i am writing this letter to bring to your notice that i am from Edmonton. You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.
According to the given information , it is clear that because i learnt to the experience and knowledge skills in my current role. I have improved my communication skill from here.i have also more become comfident and responsible.
In addition, I think that this company is very good and would benefits from moving you to different department . i also can use my experience with team.
although I want to change the department this company because i do not to leave the company . this team is vey help to m,e and support. i enoy working here because friendly working e
looking forward to hearing from you son.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to address the task effectively. The student has copied parts of the prompt directly into the letter ('You started in your present job two years ago...') rather than writing a personal response. While the letter attempts to cover the three required bullet points, the content is repetitive and lacks development. The inclusion of irrelevant information, such as 'i am from Edmonton', indicates a misunderstanding of the task requirements. The tone is inconsistent and does not reflect a professional request to a manager. To improve, the student must write original content that directly answers the prompt's requirements without copying the instructions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The letter lacks logical progression and clear paragraphing. While there are attempts at linking ideas with 'In addition' and 'although', these are used incorrectly or in a way that does not enhance the flow of the argument. The referencing is often unclear, and the structure is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's intent. The transition between ideas is mechanical rather than natural. To improve, the student should focus on using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to connect ideas logically rather than just acting as sentence starters.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic words like 'good', 'help', and 'experience' without demonstrating the ability to use more precise or professional language suitable for a formal letter. There are frequent errors in word choice, such as 'i learnt to the experience' and 'this team is vey help to m,e'. Spelling errors are also frequent, such as 'comfident', 'enoy', and 'son' (instead of 'soon'), which occasionally impede communication. A wider range of vocabulary related to professional development and workplace skills is needed to achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'i have also more become comfident' and 'i do not to leave the company' are grammatically incorrect. Punctuation is also problematic, with inconsistent capitalization and spacing issues. The student relies on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are consistently flawed. Significant improvement in basic sentence construction and proofreading for grammatical accuracy is required to reach a higher band level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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