Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing because for my future improvement i need to move to other department.

i would like to say that our company helped me a lot in my career building. i got knowledge about maintaining the workflow so smooth. How important is to look for correct people is there or not and is work going perfectly or not.

However, with my knowledge our working place goes into benefit after moving to other department. Becoming and handling such tax papers and calculate the correct money for paying tax in this i use Ai to fast finish our work to reduce work time.

Also, i have connected more people in company that make me difficult to leave from here as well as i know all tools how to use with care. And in vital times this industry gave me loan that was too incredible. i look to have more future here.

Thanks for your time and consideration, i look forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Sam

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: it mentions skills learned, suggests benefits to the company, and explains the desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is limited. The explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is quite vague, particularly the reference to 'tax papers' and 'AI', which lacks clarity and professional context. To improve, you should provide more specific examples of how your current skills would transfer to a new department and add value. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, but the lack of detail in your arguments prevents a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is quite basic and occasionally mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'Also' and 'However' at the start of sentences. Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, making the flow feel slightly unnatural. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, and ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on one of the bullet points provided in the instructions.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher levels. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'career building' instead of 'professional development' and 'maintaining the workflow so smooth'. The expression 'calculate the correct money' is also informal and imprecise. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and the reliance on simple, repetitive structures restrict the score. Incorporating more professional, industry-specific terminology would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'i need to move to other department' should be 'to another department', and 'i have connected more people in company' is grammatically incorrect. Additionally, the misuse of 'i' instead of the capitalized 'I' occurs consistently. While you attempt some complex ideas, the execution is often faulty, which can occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, such as capitalization and article usage, will help improve your score significantly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.