Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing this letter to request you to transfer me in the different department for the personal career growth and company's benefit.

It has been two years for me to work with this prestigious organization. In this years, I have learnt the core static design of boiler. Moreover, I have inculcated practical skills of design the components with respect to its functionality and safety consideration. Therefore, I have adapted the skills of designing the components in practical world.

To become a proficient designer, I am lacking the experience of thermal designing the boiler. Therefore, I am requesting you to transfer my position in thermodynamics department where I will gain the practical exposure of calculation of energy in boiler. Additionally, my major subjects during the graduation was energy analysis. So, I am confident that the company will be benefitted with my skillset in new department.

Overall experience with this firm has been amazing, and I am looking forward to build my future career with this institution. Instead of joining the other company, I would like to offer my service to this wonderful organization. Lastly, I look forward for your response

Yours Faithfully,

Nilay Shah

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned (static design and component functionality), explain the benefit to the company (applying your energy analysis background to thermal design), and express your commitment to the firm. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how the company benefits could be more specific regarding the value you would add to the thermodynamics department. Overall, the response is relevant and covers all requirements effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into distinct paragraphs, each serving a clear purpose. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Therefore', and 'Additionally' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between your current skills and the request for a transfer is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using industry-specific terms like 'static design', 'functionality', and 'thermodynamics'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'inculcated practical skills of design' (should be 'developed' or 'honed') and 'transfer my position in' (should be 'transfer to'). While you attempt to use more sophisticated language, some collocations are slightly unnatural. Nevertheless, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly without causing confusion for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'transfer me in the different department' (should be 'to a different department'), 'In this years' (should be 'In these years'), and 'my major subjects... was' (should be 'were'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and preposition errors throughout. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication, and your message remains clear. To reach a higher band, you should focus on subject-verb agreement and more accurate preposition usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.