Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

DEAR MR CLARAK,

I am writting to inform you that i have started my job before two year ago in maple leaf foods . I have learned a lot of things that how we can co operate , communicate and how to compete with other collegues .

now i am going to tell to about how this company bring benefits for me such as dental regarding and health related benefits . i am working on the line as a bacon loaded which has huge risk like sometime pinch hand in the conveyer and safety blade also due to this they cover 80% .which is also possible in other department like in pre cook .

The most pre dominent reason is this it has satisfy wages where i can fulfill my all needs like buy clothes and fulfill the needs of my family members and my kids also . i cannot leave this job at any chance .

i am looking forward to hear you

thankyou

kulwinder kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development of ideas is weak. While you mention what you learned and why you want to stay, the section regarding the company's benefit from your transfer is unclear. You focus on your current job's risks and benefits rather than explaining how your skills would add value to a new department. To improve, ensure your arguments directly answer the prompt's requirements. For example, instead of discussing your current salary, explain how your experience in the bacon department would make you an asset to a different team, such as pre-cook.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is divided into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The transition between your current job duties and the reasons for staying is abrupt. You rely on very basic linking words, and some sentences lack logical flow, such as the explanation regarding the 80% coverage. Using more sophisticated cohesive devices like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in addition to this' would help connect your ideas more smoothly and improve the overall readability of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and contains several inaccuracies. Phrases like 'dental regarding' and 'satisfy wages' are not standard English collocations and hinder clarity. You also use informal phrasing such as 'tell to about' and 'on the line'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning common collocations related to professional environments, such as 'competitive salary', 'health insurance benefits', or 'professional development'. Expanding your range to include more precise, topic-specific vocabulary will significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with verb tense ('i have started my job before two year ago'), subject-verb agreement, and capitalization ('i', 'maple leaf foods'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex grammatical forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring consistent capitalization, and practicing the correct use of past and present perfect tenses for professional correspondence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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