Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope all is well.

My name is Shivam, and I am currently incorporated in production department since January 2025.

I writing this letter in order to request you to switch the working department for my personal career growth.

Since I got to hear that the company is looking to hire someone for assistant accountant role in the company, so for that I feel I could be the great fit for it.

I believe, I have the right academic certificates, probably the enough previous experience, and also the experience working inside the company's premises. I am certainly sure that when you look forward for a qualified candidate, you must look forward to either of this qualifications and I have all.

Apart from it, I have also noticed when our current accountant runs the pay cycle, he often comes to us and asks for the supportive documents. Therefore, if I get hired for the role, I would get the work done more efficiently, as I share the good relations with my current department.

I had an opportunity in the past to change the company for an individual growth, but my fidelity and loyalty did not let me to do that.

I hope you will consider my proposal and promote me to the higher department for a career growth.

I look forward to a positive news.

Thank you and have a pleasant day.

Sincerely,

Shivam Desai

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mentioned your current role, suggested how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explained your loyalty to the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention you could be a 'great fit' for the assistant accountant role, you do not explicitly detail what you have learned in your current production role that would be transferable. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the request to 'promote me to the higher department' is slightly confusing, as a lateral move is usually implied by the prompt. Overall, the task is fulfilled, but the content could be more specific and professional.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening and closing. Paragraphing is used to separate different ideas, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Apart from it' or 'Since I got to hear that'. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the flow could be improved by using more varied linking words to connect your thoughts more naturally. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear, and the purpose of the letter is never in doubt.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to convey your message clearly. You use some relevant business-related terms like 'pay cycle', 'supportive documents', and 'career development'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'incorporated in production department' (should be 'working in the production department') and 'fidelity and loyalty' (which is slightly redundant in this context). You also rely on some basic phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise professional collocations and avoiding repetitive or slightly unnatural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, 'I writing this letter' is missing the auxiliary verb 'am', and 'probably the enough previous experience' is grammatically incorrect. There are also issues with article usage and preposition placement, such as 'switch the working department' instead of 'transfer to a different department'. While these errors do not prevent communication, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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