Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope this message will finds you well.

I would like to talk with you regarding my placement in your company. I have learned many things in this department such as how to code the things and how to manage the softwares when there could be any trouble. Moreover, the every individual of this company are very supportive as well as have problem solving skills.

Let me explain you, I would be more talented in software development. So, I want to request you please change my department because this is beneficial for you. I have a skills in this field. I know you are a manager and you have to talk with the management I will wait for your reply.

This company is like a family for me because I have attachment with everyone same as my family members. So, I am thrilled to pursuing with this company.

I am hopeful for a positive outcome.

Best regards,

Thomson

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mention your current learning, suggest how the company benefits from your transfer, and explain your loyalty to the firm. However, the development of these ideas is quite basic. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is vague, stating only 'this is beneficial for you' without explaining how your specific skills in software development would add value to the new department. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples of how your transition would solve specific problems or increase efficiency in the target department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening and closing. Paragraphing is used to separate the different points, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'Moreover' and 'So' are used frequently, and some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. For example, the jump from discussing your skills to asking the manager to talk to management lacks a smooth connection. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. You rely on simple phrasing such as 'learned many things' and 'how to code the things'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'I have attachment with everyone', which is not natural English. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more specific professional terminology related to your field and avoid overly informal or repetitive language. Expanding your range to include more precise verbs and adjectives will make your request sound more professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the letter that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'I hope this message will finds you well' (subject-verb agreement), 'the every individual of this company are' (article and agreement error), and 'I have a skills' (article error). You rely mostly on simple sentence structures. While you attempt some complex sentences, they often contain errors, such as 'I am thrilled to pursuing with this company'. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that verb forms following prepositions or auxiliary verbs are accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.