Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Martin,

I am writing this letter to express my willingness to move in infield from front desk in your company.

It has been two years that I am working as a receptionist in this "Arrow Sports Company". During this time, I have learned all the tactics of serving clients from different regions with different age groups. As I have expertise of dealing clients by providing various offers catering their needs. Now, I wanted to go in field to have some practical experience of handling clients while they are on Trampoline. I wanted to admire the joy on the faces of kids and youth when they are jumping and falling on Trampoline.

If, you will transfer me in field, even for a short period, I can learn its rules and regulations and become multitasking in the company. In case shortage field staff, I can move there for extra help. Moreover, I wanted to change my sitting job but instead of changing the job , I request to adjust me in field

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task. You described your current experience, suggested how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explained your desire to remain with the company. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is a bit vague, focusing more on your personal desire to see children's faces rather than clear professional advantages for the firm. To improve, ensure your arguments are more business-focused and professional in tone, as this is a formal request to a manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical progression, moving from your current role to your request and the reasons behind it. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'During this time' and 'Moreover' to link your ideas. However, the paragraphing is inconsistent and the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. Some transitions feel abrupt, particularly the jump between describing your current duties and your desire to see children on the trampoline. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall structure of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your message, such as 'expertise', 'catering', and 'regulations'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'move in infield' and 'admire the joy'. The term 'multitasking' is used slightly incorrectly in this context; 'versatile' or 'gaining a broader skill set' would be more appropriate. There are also some minor errors in collocation, such as 'change my sitting job'. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise professional terminology would help you achieve a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For example, 'It has been two years that I am working' should be 'I have been working for two years'. There are also issues with article usage ('in field' instead of 'to the field') and punctuation, specifically the spacing around commas. While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of verb tenses and prepositional usage in formal correspondence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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