Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Annie,

I am writing this letter to get a permission for departmental change.

I am John, working as data traffic manager in this company for two years and my job is to manage data traffic in our website. While I learned crucial things like data analysis and filtration, and by this I could able to up skill myself.

I recently heard about the vacancy of website developer and for that I want to apply. This is because, I learned various software operations skills by attending well-known institutes' courses to make my self well-rounded for this position. This would benefit our company in many ways, like with my new approach our website become more attractive and efficient and that would attract new clients.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development is insufficient due to the response being significantly under the 150-word minimum. While you mention what you have learned and why you want to stay, the explanation regarding how the company would benefit is quite brief. To improve, you need to expand on your ideas with more detail and specific examples to meet the length requirement and fully develop your arguments. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, but the lack of length and depth prevents a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited. Transitions between ideas are somewhat mechanical, such as 'This is because' and 'This would benefit'. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs more fluidly. The overall progression of ideas is logical, but the brevity of the response makes the flow feel somewhat abrupt.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary related to your job, such as 'data analysis', 'filtration', and 'software operations'. However, the range is limited, and there are some awkward phrasings like 'get a permission for departmental change' (should be 'request a transfer') and 'I could able to up skill myself' (grammatically incorrect). To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise professional terminology and avoid repetitive or informal phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary will help you express your ideas with greater clarity and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are several grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of your writing. For example, 'I could able to' is incorrect; it should be 'I was able to'. Additionally, 'get a permission' should be 'request permission'. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures. To improve, you should aim to use a wider range of complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or conditional sentences, and ensure that your verb tenses and articles are used correctly. Frequent minor errors in grammar and word order are present throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.