Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Mr. John,

I am writing in regards to the Band 5 role that is being advertised in the Respiratory unit. I have been at the band 4 level for the past 2 years and I think it has become important for me to progress.

In my present role as a band 4 Associate, I have been oPportuned to work effectively with the multidisciplinary team in managing patients with diverse medical conditions. For instance, I have worked directly under the nurses to care for a patient that presented with conflicting medical conditions like Type2 Diabetes mellitus, pressure sores and respiratory insufficency.

In addition, I recently completed a masters program in respiratory nursing and passed my NMC OSCE. This will be a huge advantage to the hospital as i have proven competence and relevant experience for the new role.

Although i have gotten offers from other places, i would really appreciate the opportunity to bring my newly acquired skill to your respiratory unit because the values of your hospital directly aligns with my personal philosophy. I have seen the importance you place on oneness and ambition and do not want to go to a trust with conflicting values.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Amanda Jones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide a convincing reason for wanting to stay within the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task requirements. To reach a higher band, ensure that the connection between your new skills and the specific needs of the new department is even more explicitly detailed to show maximum benefit to the employer.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which aids readability. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition' and 'Although', which help to link ideas. However, the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the transition between your current experience and your future goals is smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure is easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a coherent response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary relevant to the medical and professional context, such as 'multidisciplinary team', 'respiratory insufficiency', and 'proven competence'. There are some minor errors in word choice and capitalization, such as 'oPportuned' (which is not standard usage) and 'masters program' (should be 'master’s program'). While you attempt to use more sophisticated language, some phrasing is slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring consistent capitalization and spelling throughout your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'values of your hospital directly aligns' (subject-verb agreement error: 'align') and 'care for a patient that presented' (should be 'who presented'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and capitalization issues, such as the inconsistent use of 'i' instead of 'I'. Despite these errors, the meaning is always clear, and the grammar does not impede communication. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures and proofreading for minor slips would help elevate your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.