Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Peter,

I am writing this letter to formally express my interest in working in the administrative department after gaining all the valuable experience in the data handling firm for two years under your guidance.

While I leant various skills at my current position such as data analysis, maintaining records and tracking order supplies, I believe that it would be a great opportunity for my career development if I can implement these skills in a different department.

I have been working with the organization for two years, and understands the relations with consumers and suppliers in depth. If given an opportunity it be beneficial for the company also, as it will save time designated for training of any any employee.

Additionally, I truly desire to work with the same organization for a longer term, as I genuinely appreciate the working environment. It always feels welcoming and offers diverse skillset, which helps in gaining valuable knowledge.

I look forward to joining the firm soon.

Best regards,

Tim Cook

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points of the prompt. You clearly outline the skills learned in your current role, such as data analysis and record-keeping. You also provide a logical argument for how the company benefits from your transfer, specifically mentioning the reduction in training time. Finally, you express your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, you could elaborate on how your specific skills would be applied in the administrative department to show a deeper understanding of the transition.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the prompt. You use some cohesive devices like 'While', 'Additionally', and 'If given an opportunity', which help the flow of ideas. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences more fluidly, as some transitions feel slightly mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'formally express', 'career development', and 'diverse skillset'. There are a few minor errors, such as 'leant' instead of 'learned' and 'any any' (repetition). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your message clearly, it lacks the sophistication or 'less common' lexical items that would push the score into the higher bands. Focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing to enhance the professional quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical slips that affect the accuracy of your writing. For example, 'understands the relations' should be 'I understand the relations' (subject-verb agreement), and 'it be beneficial' should be 'it would be beneficial'. Additionally, there is a minor punctuation error in the opening salutation ('Dear Mr. Peter' is usually 'Dear Mr. [Surname]'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and missing auxiliary verbs.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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