Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sarah,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to inform you about a critical decision to move to another role in our company for my career growth.

While working as a Front Desk Associate for last couple of years I have learned a lot about communication skills, critical thinking, problem solving and many more crucial skills. This position helped me to learn a lot about myself as well. However, i have decided to apply for IT Help Desk Technician role, that was recently opened in our company.

I was constantly trying to get to the IT field since last eight months. I was excited like anything when I saw the job posting in companies' internal hiring website. My studies and IT certifications that I have achieved in last eight months would contribute to the role for sure. Furthermore, my help desk experience and technical knowledge would be perfect for me to start with. Familiarity with companies' work culture and ethics is another advantage for me after moving to different department.

Finally, I would also like to clarify that I love working here so much that changing company was not my one of the options. Hustle free work environment is the key factor for loving this company.

I have submitted my intrast in the job. I hope you

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outlined your current skills, explained the benefits to the company of your transfer, and expressed your loyalty to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the letter is incomplete as it ends abruptly with 'I hope you', which prevents the task from being fully resolved. To reach a higher band, ensure that you complete the letter with a proper closing and sign-off. The ideas are relevant, but the development of the benefits to the company could be slightly more specific to demonstrate a stronger professional perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on one of the required points. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' and 'Finally' to link your ideas. However, the progression is slightly hindered by the incomplete ending. Additionally, some transitions between sentences feel a bit mechanical. To improve, ensure that your paragraphs are balanced in length and that you use a wider variety of linking words to connect your thoughts more fluidly. The paragraphing is clear, which helps the reader follow your argument, but the lack of a formal closing affects the overall coherence of the document.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'critical thinking', and 'internal hiring'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'hustle free' (which should be 'hassle-free') and 'intrast' (a spelling error for 'interest'). You also use some informal phrasing like 'excited like anything', which is not ideal for a formal business letter. To improve, focus on using more precise professional terminology and proofreading for spelling mistakes. Expanding your range of collocations related to workplace communication would also help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'for last couple of years' (missing 'the'), 'IT Help Desk Technician role' (missing 'the'), and 'changing company was not my one of the options' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the incomplete final sentence is a significant issue. To improve, focus on article usage and subject-verb agreement. Attempting more varied complex sentence structures while ensuring accuracy will help you move into the higher bands.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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