Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to express my desire to move to a different department in the company for career development.

I have been working in safety and compliance department from last two years. This division not only improved my communication skills by talking with clients but also build my confidence to tackle issues. I have learned every aspect of this position from basic to advance softwares.

Recently, I came to know that company is looking for a candidate for entry level payroll position. For my further career development I want to change my department from safety and compliance to payroll. As a business academic background, I believe that I will easily fit into this position. Company will be benefited too as I am already aware of the company's policies so it will save time. On the top of that I have a strong grip on calculations. Instead of giving training to someone new for this role, I would really appreciate if you could consider my application for this position.

I do not want to leave the company because I have started my career from here and I am really thankful for that. All colleagues are really humble. They are always ready to help. I do not think that I could find a organization better than that.

Please let me know about your thoughts. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Rimple Sharma

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outline the skills gained in your current role, such as communication and software proficiency. You provide a logical argument for how the company would benefit from your transfer to payroll, specifically citing your existing knowledge of company policies and your aptitude for calculations. Furthermore, you express your loyalty to the company effectively. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter, and the purpose is clear from the outset. To reach a higher band, ensure that your explanation of the benefits to the company is slightly more detailed, perhaps by linking your current skills more explicitly to the specific demands of the payroll department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the task, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use some cohesive devices such as 'not only... but also', 'furthermore', and 'on the top of that' to connect your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the progression between sentences within paragraphs is smoother. For instance, the transition between your current role and the request for the payroll position could be more fluidly connected.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task. You use relevant professional terms like 'career development', 'compliance', and 'payroll position'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'build my confidence' (should be 'built') and 'business academic background' (should be 'academic background in business'). Additionally, 'on the top of that' is slightly informal for a professional letter. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding minor errors in word form, which will help you convey your message with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some noticeable grammatical errors, such as 'from last two years' (should be 'for the last two years'), 'company is looking' (should be 'the company is looking'), and 'a organization' (should be 'an organization'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to article usage, verb tenses, and prepositions. Proofreading for these small, recurring errors will significantly enhance the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.