Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to express my interest moving to a senior department in this company for my career development.

I am working as a team leader in the production department for the past five years and I have learned several things such as handling projects under strict deadlines, working under pressure, motivating and supervising the team members. I have become much more experienced to complete several tasks more efficiently and effectively.

I believe the company will also benefit from my transfer to senior department. As I am familiar with the company's policies and procedures, I am confident that I can fulfill new responsibilities of the new position quickly and efficiently, and therefore company does not need to train another person for this senior position, as this will take sufficient amount of time.

I would like to improve my career while staying in the same company because I build good professional relationship with the management and familiar with the working environment, which allows me to perform my jobs with great interest and enthusiasm. I would be very grateful if you could allow me to work in different department and contributes to the company.

Thank you for your support and consideration. I hope you will consider my request favorably and i look forward to your prompt response.

Yours sincerely,

Harmeet Kaur.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt effectively. You clearly state your current experience, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide valid reasons for wanting to remain within the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your introduction is more precise; for example, 'senior department' is slightly vague. Expanding slightly more on the specific skills you hope to gain in the new department would further strengthen the development of your ideas, as the current focus is primarily on what you already offer rather than your future growth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'therefore' and 'as I am familiar with', which help the flow of ideas. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. Some sentences feel slightly repetitive in structure, and the use of linking words is somewhat basic. To improve, try to vary your cohesive devices to connect your sentences more fluidly, ensuring that the progression of your argument feels natural rather than mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'policies and procedures', 'enthusiasm', and 'professional relationship'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'interest moving' (should be 'interest in moving') and 'senior department' (which is a bit ambiguous). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Incorporating more precise professional terminology would elevate the quality of your writing and demonstrate a better command of lexical nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. However, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. For instance, 'I am working... for the past five years' should be the present perfect continuous ('I have been working'), and there are minor errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'contributes to the company' (should be 'contribute'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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