Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

how are you doing ? i hope , you are doing great. It is an impressive thing to work with Spring water Company limited. it has been a wonderful journey since tow years working with this firm. where table water is being produced.

Presently, i have learnt how to communicate positively with my colleagues from different backgrounds. Again, how a company could be managed without much lost rather making huge profits. the experiences i have got in this company could enable me grow higher in life.

With the knowledge i have got in Spring water company Limited, i suggest i could help me to impact the knowledge to people in another department , and that would help to produce more people to work effectively in the other section. That would create more organization that would produce other goods for sales that help the department to grow.

This company has really impacted so much in my life by bringing positive changes in my family too. it is a place one could work at peace, as a result, i do not wish to leave the company.

In conclusion, i thank my manager and my colleagues for their cooperation..

Thanks sincerely,

Chilaka Uchechi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, suggest how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explain your loyalty to the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is a bit vague and repetitive, focusing on 'impacting knowledge' without specifying the skills you would bring to the new department. To improve, try to provide more concrete examples of how your current experience directly translates into value for a different section of the company. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though it could be more professional.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your points. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'Again', 'With the knowledge', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing. For example, the transition between your current learning and the suggestion for a transfer could be smoother. Additionally, the use of punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods, which occasionally disrupts the reading flow. Improving the variety of linking words would help create a more natural, professional tone.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to communicate your message, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'wonderful journey', 'impact the knowledge', and 'grow higher in life' are understandable but lack the precision expected at higher bands. There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'without much lost' instead of 'without much loss'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise professional terminology related to career development and business operations. You should also work on collocations, such as 'gained experience' rather than 'experiences i have got'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the experiences i have got... could enable me grow'), incorrect article usage, and persistent punctuation errors, such as spaces before commas and periods. Capitalization is also inconsistent, particularly with 'i' and the start of sentences. While your meaning is generally clear, these recurring errors suggest a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of basic sentence construction and punctuation rules to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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