Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear mam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter for requesting to you get promotion to another department in our Genesis company. As you know, from past two years, I was working as a regular guard in our security company. I learned multiple skills from that post. Now, i have proper knowledge and information about the industry, how the security industry works and what we need to run the company.

Furthermore, i am requesting to you for moving me to supervising department as it is necessary for my career development. I will do my best as a supervisor and handle every guard farely. Moreover, company will also get benefit from it because I have great management skills. Also, I am very punctual and do all my work effectively and efficiently.

To continue, i love to work as a supervisor for this company because the staff and owner of company is very helpful and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the letter is incomplete as it ends abruptly mid-sentence, which prevents a full development of your final point. To improve, ensure you provide a clear, professional conclusion that summarizes your request. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening 'Dear mam' is informal; 'Dear Manager' or 'Dear [Name]' would be more suitable for a professional context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'To continue' to link your points. However, the progression of ideas is interrupted by the unfinished final sentence, which negatively impacts the overall coherence. Additionally, some transitions feel a bit mechanical. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring that your ideas flow smoothly from one sentence to the next and that your letter reaches a logical and complete conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your needs clearly. You use some industry-specific terms like 'security industry' and 'management skills'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'requesting to you get promotion' (should be 'requesting a transfer') and 'handle every guard farely' (spelling error: 'fairly'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on basic phrasing. Expanding your range to include more precise professional terminology would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'I am writing this letter for requesting to you' (should be 'to request'), 'from past two years' (should be 'for the past two years'), and 'owner of company is' (missing article 'the'). Additionally, there are consistent issues with capitalization, such as 'i' instead of 'I'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and proper article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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