Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Lily,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I am writing to move to a different department in our company. Which was recently I feel it is crucial for my career development.

I believe that I would be a strong candidate for this role due to my experience, skills and dedication. Over the past several years, I have gained valuable experience in my recent job, where I was responsible for development of company. Furthermore, I have developed strong communication, organizational and problem-solving skills.

In addition to my professional qualification, I am highly motivated and eager to contribute positively to your organization. I am confident that my background would enable me to perform effectively in this position. Moreover, the company would benefit from moving me to a different department. However, I honestly do not wish to leave the company, because I always considered as a my family and from there I gain valuable experience.

Thank you for considering my application. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my suitability further during an interview.

Your faithfully,

Lynn

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your desire to move departments, mention skills gained in your current role, and explain your loyalty to the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, when discussing how the company would benefit from your move, you state, 'the company would benefit from moving me to a different department,' but you fail to provide any specific evidence or examples of how your skills would actually add value in a new context. To improve, ensure that each point is supported by concrete details rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening and closing. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to,' and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the sentence 'Which was recently I feel it is crucial for my career development,' which is grammatically fragmented and confusing. Paragraphing is present, but the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring that each sentence connects logically to the next without grammatical interruptions.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for a formal letter, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. You rely on common phrases like 'valuable experience' and 'strong communication skills,' which are repetitive. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'Your faithfully' (should be 'Yours faithfully') and 'considered as a my family' (which is unidiomatic). To improve, try to incorporate more specific professional terminology related to your industry and ensure that your collocations are natural and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'Which was recently I feel it is crucial...' is a sentence fragment, and 'from there I gain valuable experience' lacks proper tense consistency. Additionally, there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'development of company' (should be 'development of the company'). While your meaning is generally understood, these persistent errors prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence completeness.

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