Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Madam,

I hope you are doing well. I have been working for the last 5 years. I am writing a letter to express my thoughts about transferring me to a different department.

I have learned many good things in this current job, such as good leadership and good communication, which are vital for career growth.

It is beneficial for the company and me to transfer to a different department because I already have experience in finance, and I can fulfill the requirements. I can use my knowledge for the company's growth, and it is also very helpful for me in my career development.

I would not like to leave the company for many reasons, such as the good team members and positive work environment, and I can also learn many things under your leadership. Please, if you can transfer me to a different department, it will be great for me.

Your answer would be appreciated

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: skills learned, benefits to the company, and reasons for staying. However, the development of these points is quite limited. For instance, you mention 'good leadership' and 'good communication' but do not elaborate on how these were applied in your current role. Similarly, the benefit to the company is stated in very general terms ('fulfill the requirements'). To achieve a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or concrete details about your achievements and how your skills would specifically translate to a new department. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, but the content lacks the depth required for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on one of the required points, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and mechanical. You rely heavily on simple conjunctions like 'and' to connect ideas. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases such as 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition to this.' Additionally, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be smoother to create a more professional flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but remains quite basic. Phrases like 'learned many good things' and 'it will be great for me' are functional but lack the professional precision expected in a business context. You have attempted to use some relevant terminology, such as 'career development' and 'requirements,' which is positive. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and topic-specific vocabulary related to professional environments, such as 'professional growth,' 'transferable skills,' or 'contribute to the team's objectives.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are some grammatical inaccuracies. For example, 'I am writing a letter to express my thoughts about transferring me' is slightly awkward; 'requesting a transfer' would be more natural. There are also minor issues with punctuation and sentence variety. You have good control over basic grammar, but to improve, you should incorporate more varied complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses (e.g., 'If I were to move to the finance department, I could...') to demonstrate greater flexibility.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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