Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Arun,

I am writing this letter to request you for a transfer Human Resources department so that I can dive deep down into such a big ocean.

I have learned a lot of skills while being in coordinator team. I came across a lot of candidates queries and solve them. I learn the way to deal with new joiners as they do not know much about the company.

If I will join the HR team, I can show my talent that I had learned during the school times. I already know the rules and working the company so that will be easy for me to quickly learn the skills and be productive since day one. My a lot of friends are already doing job in that department which means I can took their help as well if required.

I want to grow within the company as this is my dream company. The work environment is so pleasant, everyone are very helpful.

I want to you to please talk about my transfer with the director of HR department. Waiting for your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

Sushant

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer, and express your commitment to the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how the company would benefit is quite vague, relying on general statements about knowing the rules rather than specific professional contributions. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended with concrete examples of how your skills would add value to the HR department specifically.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'If I will join' and 'I want to grow', but the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. Some transitions feel abrupt, and the connection between your current experience and the desired role could be smoother. While the overall progression is clear, the use of linking words is somewhat repetitive and lacks the variety needed for a higher band. Improving the use of cohesive devices would help create a more professional and fluid tone.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and professional tone expected in a formal business letter. Phrases like 'dive deep down into such a big ocean' are idiomatic but inappropriate for this context. You also rely on simple, repetitive language such as 'a lot of' and 'doing job'. To improve, you should focus on using more formal, topic-specific vocabulary related to career development and human resources. Avoid informal phrasal verbs and colloquial expressions to ensure your writing sounds professional and suitable for a manager.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'request you for a transfer Human Resources department' (missing preposition and article), 'everyone are very helpful' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'I can took their help' (incorrect verb form). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses, and proper sentence construction to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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